Dear Sandi, How do you justify swinging? Isn't it more like you are cheating? Just Curious.
How do you justify swinging? Isn't it more like you are cheating?
Great question, but it's a hard one for most people to comprehend. Ted and I (and many other swingers) believe that sex can be divided into 3 basic categories: fucking, having sex, and making love. Granted most swingers enjoy a combination of all three, but read on. When Ted and I are alone and have lots of time, we make love, sometimes when we're in a hurry, and just need a sexual release we fuck, but we vary rarely just have Sex with each other. Having sex is something we save for our "Special" friends (and you know who you are :-)) and it is generally completely different than both making love (which most swinging relationships can't handle because of the emotional attachment) and fucking (which is quick, to the point and generally reserved for one night stands). Having Sex with another couple is a lot like dating, there is lots of foreplay, flirting, and feeling up, oops out the other persons likes and dislikes. Unfortunately, like dating, most swinging relationships for one reason or another don't get past the first couple of "dates" and that's a shame. If more people were more comfortable in their own relationships, they could give swinging a real chance. BUT, and there is that but again, once most people get past the having sex stage and into the having sex with your friends stage things seem to get more complicated, jealousy and mistrust can rear its ugly head and one or both of the couples runs as fast as they can in the opposite direction. Too bad, because once a relationship reaches the friends with benefits stage, that's when the REAL fun starts, trust me, we have been there a few times and it's incredible! ... Sandi and Ted too
PS, sorry, got a little off topic there. Basically cheating is something you do behind your partners back, it generally leads to fun things like ulcers, panic attacks, paranoia, erectile dysfunction, STDs, divorce and alimony payments. On the other hand, swinging is something you do WITH your partner, it generally leads to trust, confidence, multiple orgasms, huge lingerie and toy collections and extended vacations at places like Hedonism II and Desire... Honestly, if more couples would stop cheating ON each other, and started swinging WITH each other, there would be a lot less divorces, and a lot more happy, horny marriages, but that's only my take on it, your opinion may vary.
~Sandi from Tryst Swingers
Well I must agree with most of what you have to say. I am kind of new at the swinging lifestyle. Not all experiences I have had have been good..but some have been great. My only problem is jealousy. Not the kind of jealousy that... I am afraid that my man is going to run off with someone else kind, Mine is more of.. I'm jealous of the attention the women get from him. We work a lot and we work on separate shifts which make it hard to find time to spend with one another. In my defense I am just jealous of not being with him. When we do have time alone with out kids.. its play time. We get together with couples and have some fun...well most of the time...ok he always has fun but I seem to be distracted with thoughts that sometimes ruins the mood. I find myself looking over at him and his partner for that brief time..and well that is when the jealousy creeps up. I am jealous that he can find the time to pleasure her...do things to her that I want him to do to me. I want him to find the time and spend time pleasing me. But like I said life has a way of making no time for just the two of us. How do I learn to enjoy the lifestyle more when I do feel jealous...and he can see it and that seems to ruin his fun? Yes I agree that being in the lifestyle is much better than him or I cheating..I would rather see him have his pleasure with someone else in front of me than behind my back. So to end this comment all I can say is I do enjoy the lifestyle...but still have problems with the jealousy.
Norma..left wanting....
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